Are You a Dog or Cat When It Comes to Boundaries

Are you a dog or a cat when it comes to how you set boundaries?

I want you to imagine two very different animals: a dog and a cat. The dog is loving, eager, and always by your side, ready to please. If you move, they follow. If you leave the house, they wait anxiously for your return. If you scold them, they cower but still come back, tail wagging, desperate for your approval.

Now, picture a cat. They choose when to engage, setting their own terms. If they want affection, they’ll come to you. If they don’t, they’ll walk away without a second thought. If you cross their limits, they have no problem showing you exactly where the boundary is—with a swift paw swipe, if necessary. It’s like they know exactly what they want and have no problem requesting it from the world.

Which one do you relate to more?

If you find yourself constantly overextending, people-pleasing, or feeling burnt out because you struggle to say no, you might be living like the dog—codependent, craving approval, and struggling with boundaries. The good news is, boundaries are a skill you can develop. And you can take a lesson from the cat.

Understanding Boundaries: The Cat’s Secret to Balance

Boundaries are the invisible lines that define what’s okay and what’s not okay for us in relationships, work, and daily life. A cat instinctively knows how to protect their energy. They understand their own needs and aren’t afraid to enforce them. If they need rest, they disappear to a quiet corner. If they don’t like how they’re being touched, they move away—or give a clear warning. They don’t overextend to gain love. They simply exist in their own self-respecting space.

A well-balanced person, like a cat, understands that setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away. It’s about creating space for authentic connection, personal wellness, and emotional resilience. When you have clear boundaries, you can give from a place of fullness instead of depletion.

The Dog’s Dilemma: When Boundaries Are Weak

Now, let’s talk about the dog. The dog loves hard, and that’s beautiful. But sometimes, this love comes at a cost. A dog with no boundaries may tolerate being treated poorly because they fear abandonment. They might exhaust themselves trying to keep their owner happy, even at their own expense. Sound familiar? If you find yourself constantly saying yes when you want to say no, apologizing when you’ve done nothing wrong, or feeling resentful because you give so much and receive little in return, your boundaries may need work.

Living like the dog leads to exhaustion, stress, and anxiety. Healing begins when you start honoring your own needs and trusting that real connection doesn’t require self-sacrifice.

How to Strengthen Your Boundaries and Find Balance

Shifting from dog-like behavior to cat-like confidence takes time, but it’s entirely possible. Here are some ways to build resilience and reclaim your boundaries:

1. Know Your Limits – What drains you? What makes you uncomfortable? Awareness is the first step to setting healthy limits.
2. Say No Without Guilt – A cat never apologizes for walking away when they’re done with attention. Neither should you! Saying no is an act of self-care, not selfishness.
3. Pause Before Committing – If someone asks for your time or energy, take a moment to check in with yourself before responding.
4. Speak Up – If something isn’t okay with you, say so. Clear, direct communication is key to strong boundaries.
5. Surround Yourself with Support – Just as a cat seeks warmth and comfort, find people who respect your boundaries and uplift your growth.
6. Practice Self-Compassion – Healing from codependency takes time. Be kind to yourself as you learn and grow.

Final Thoughts: It’s Time to Set Boundaries with Confidence

Dogs are wonderful, loving creatures, but when it comes to boundaries, they have a lot to learn from cats. Developing strong boundaries is not about becoming cold or detached—it’s about balance. It’s about giving and receiving in ways that support your wellness and allow you to thrive.

If you’re ready to step into your power, embrace your inner cat. Start small, practice often, and trust that the right people will respect the boundaries you set. You deserve relationships that nourish you, not drain you.

If setting boundaries feels challenging, you’re not alone. As a therapist, I help women break free from people-pleasing patterns and step into their true selves. If you’re ready to create lasting change, let’s work together. Reach out today and start your journey toward confidence, balance, and authentic connection.